Poem: Sleep

Oh to sleep another hour
What I would give to be so lucky
Blessed are husbands and dogs and children
Being a mom or a wife's plain sucky!! 

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: Moving mountains

Conniving away, but not getting anywhere
Facing a boulder of a phase that just won't budge
What lever to use, what inner strength to touch?
I want to move a mountain, with just a little nudge

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: What do you see?

What do you see 
When you look at me?
Can you see through
My vain attempts
At concealing
My uncertain
Faltering courage?
Can you sense
How I seek
Approval
Despite every rational 
Bone in my body?

What do you see 
When you look at yourself?
Do you see as I see
Your every vulnerability?
The story unfolding 
Before my eyes
In so many unspoken
Sensibilities?

Do I really know you
As well as I do
Without ever knowing you?
My soul like a sponge
Absorbs every imagined emotion
Twists and turns with you
For no reason other than
You remind me of me
Not so long ago

Can the universe 
Really be
Such a small space?

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: Vulnerable

Not old but not so young
Experienced now
Mature perhaps
Been there done that
More to do
But have a game plan now
No blindfolds, no rose tinted glasses
Proven strengths
Known weaknesses
Not a quitter
Learned when to give up
Bruises earned
Knowledge reaped
Game-face on
Playbook at the ready
Prepped to take on
The next challenge...

And yet
The heart is so
Vulnerable

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: The Great Escape

Run, run, run
She tells me to run
Pull a turtle
Hide in your shell
Dig, dig, dig
Bury your head in the sand
Fly, fly, fly
Oh fly away

Sing, sing, sing
Sing your lonely tunes
Cry, cry, cry
Cry in your room
Flee, flee, flee
Looks like a rough road ahead
Be, be, be
Anyone but you

Sniff, sniff, sniff
I wipe my face on my sleeve
Swish, swish, swish
Dust off the lint from my skirt
Clap, clap, clap
Urge my spirits to lift
Crush, crush, crush
Crush thoughts of defeat

Turn, turn, turn
Face the girl in the mirror
Flex, flex, flex
See how her muscles flex!
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh
Breathe in resolution
Hold, hold, hold
I give myself a hug

Love, love, love
Think of them that love me
Call, call, call
Even the voicemail is a friend
Think, think, think
Of the goofy smiles and happy times
Win, win, win
This battle inside my head

Far, far, far
Her voice now sounds far away
Fade, fade, fade
Let the ache fade to naught
Run, run, run
At the door that locked me in
Free, free, free
I make my great escape

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: Commitment

Asked the flower to the bee:
Remember the promise you gave to me?
Have you ever made a promise
That you could really keep?
No excuses and no games
No weepy stories, nothing lame
Just a promise, that you did keep?

With a smirk, said the bee:
Such commitment is not for me
My happy spirit, must be free
To fall in love
To see the world
To dream many dreams
To be a wanderer

Commitments are contracts
With unsaid terms
You may change them
At any given turn
A fork in the road
May justify
A broken promise or
A horrendous lie
Then will you pay the price
For a broken heart or for love's demise?

My simple truth
Is all I have to give
Call it commitment
If it helps you believe

Bidding adieu to the flippant bee
Smiled the flower knowingly
Tethered they were in some mysterious way
That would bring the bee back the very next day

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: Moving On

Packing up fond memories
Checking messages one last time
Organizing experiences into neat piles
For future reference
Funny knots tickle at my throat
Threatening silly tears
I hate overdone farewells
Lingering is no good
Don't want to overstay my welcome
Did I pack it all?
Have I said it all?
Yes and yes
In this way, we move on...

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: My Friend

It hurts to see you hurt
Feel guilt when I sense you struggle
I feel part and cause for some
Helpless about the rest
Worse because for me
This too shall pass

You know I'm the kind who feels
Because you feel
I am a responder
Emotions seldom begin with me
I am too caught up
In the wonder that is life
To dwell on
Romantic passions directed at a one
I'm forever in love
With everything
And nothing

Gossamer strands
Of faithfulness
Begin with me
To hold on to those I call mine
It is their bonds
That tether me to them
Their strength overcoming
My every weakness

All those years ago
I think I tried to explain
This facet of my artless soul
But how could I confess
That which I barely knew?
For I was - still am
On a journey of self discovery
As were - and are - you, I think?

My friend you are
And forever will be
An individual who shared
A part of my journey with me
What other constant
Is there to hold on to?
Who I am
Is who I would've been
No matter what outcome
Of the - now immutable - past
The one closest to me
Understood
And set me free

I am afraid
Of the definite but ephemeral
Pain, of the loss
I am bound to feel
When you realize
What I think you will realize
If you thought as I did
Felt how I felt
And for you too
This shall pass
And you will move on

I will miss you then
My friend

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: The heart is so heavy

The heart is so heavy
Burdened, defeated
Self-esteem teetering
Between self mockery and self pride

Could I have been so wrong
About my contributions
Or lack thereof?
Do I really qualify as a pompous
Hollow shell of a person?
I thought I had substance
I thought I add value
I do still have those fleeting moments
Of self belief
But if results are all that matter
Which I was raised to believe also
Then I must not be 
That person that I see 
With my mind's eye

The heart is so heavy
So steeped in self pity
The invites are out
Sent to all corners of my mind
For a pity party I organized
Just for myself

How do I measure
What gauge to use?
This constant feeling of being under appreciated
The whole world couldn't be so wrong
It must be me, my perspective
Feel like I'm floating in some sort of matrix
Of antonymous/synonymous views of myself

Maybe its just a lesson learned
Why shouldn't I fail sometimes
Me, someone who's got everything anyone could want
Why shouldn't I fail sometimes
Maybe its just a lesson learned

Most lessons are a journey
You think back to this time
And you feel proud
For getting over that hump
Will I feel proud in the future
Or will I still agonize over being a failure?

Glimpses of the other guy's perspective steal into view
But why should I empathize? Does he empathize with me?
Maybe he has it worse, but still
Defriending on FB is my only escape from the hurt
From this desolation

I know I'll move on and never look back
But I'm too old now to writhe in such pain
And survive unscarred and un-embittered
 
(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: Bridges

Two river banks
Make an argument
Ripples of thoughts
Laced with feelings so tense
Colliding with each side
To great consequence
Till battered and bruised
Is each embankment

But where there is a river
There is a bridge to mend

Between two ridges
Deep chasms may breed
Birthing passive resentment
Or a darker abyss
That consumes pebbles of hope
With a silent, deathly kiss
Embracing all that is anguish
By unspoken decree

But where there is a chasm
There is a bridge to mend

When a man is an island
Surrounded by his past
Drowning in an ocean 
Of regret that will last
His fate is sealed
His hurt never heals
Trapped by the gamble
Of a die that he cast

A bridge to such an island
Is a fool's bridge indeed
Destroyed in an instant
By the man's burning need
To remain an island
To remain in pain
To writhe in agony
To be driven insane

No
Some bridges are best burned
Never mended

(c) VedicVerses

Poem: Epitaph

Callous is when you're not careful about my feelings; selfish is when you forget I have them
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

shh, listen
did you hear?
just a little voice
ringing clear
hush! quiet!
prick up your ears
there's a melancholy
meandering near
hear that cringing soul
that joyous laugh
its the words you'll want
on my epitaph
now will you try
to lend a ear?
listen hard
its loud and clear
its a silent scream
its a shattering
of a soul, a dream
are you listening?

a crescendo that
you never heard
so oblivious
yet you say you cared
I believe you
I'll take your word
don't worry love
now don't be scared
its not the end
not judgement day
all it is, is you
and your way
I'm but a pawn
the world your chess-game
I'm gone
and now its yours to tame

me and my voices, we
have moved on
with kindred spirits
that sing along
just ashes now we are at last
buried deep, unheard, is our gurgling laugh
now a part, of something vast
lying underneath a quiet epitaph

(c) VedicVerses

Poem: A trip back home

He walked with me
Down the path of my memories
Those ill-marked streets
And dusty roads
Where the goats made friends
With uninterested strays*
And old schools stood tall
Behind new gates

We walked apart
In reverence to the place
Yet closer than today
In the place we called home

*strays = stray dogs

Poem: A Eulogy

I knew you but a little
I knew you more through him
His softened heart
His belligerent faith
His every little whim

I loved you yet
I loved you more for him
His simple ways
His stubborn face
His ambitions and his dreams

I owe you much
I'm indebted to you for him
His virtue and
His loving hand
His candor when things are grim

If I had more time
I’d spend it on
Just loving you for you
I’d be your friend
Not just a relative
I’d learn so much from you

I would sing you songs
And read you tales
The kind you liked to read
Of dragon wars
And Harry’s trials
Of the yeomen’s love for mead

Time’s not on my side
And I’ll regret
All the things I never did
I gave you nothing yet
You’ve given me him
Knowing, makes it hard to breathe

He cried such tears
That would melt the cold
In any selfish heart
For the son he is
And the kind of man
I should’ve thanked you from the start

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Shallow Gal

Lately, it seems, I am readily and easily embarrassed by depth and sensitivity. Be it my own or someone else’s. Brooding and mulling over life’s many faces, layers and nuances are a thing of the past. Nowadays, soon as I think a thought, I feel I must speak it out loud – else I risk becoming serious, deep and dull.

What is it that frightens me about feeling, being taken over by emotions and thoughts? Why is it that I feel fragile and unable to process anything but the shallowest of sentiments?

I am beginning to realize how bendable one is when really young. Passion could twist and turn my insides, and I’d still regain my original shape like a new piece of memory foam. But now, that twisting and turning leaves lasting marks all over. Not pleasing at all.

Maybe its how we process pain as we grow older. The time it takes to heal from ever strike, is time that could’ve been spent on some mundane chore or performing some unimportant task that suddenly becomes the raison d’etre for your existence.

Maybe its not about being dull and boring. Maybe I’m shallow because I’m too inflexible and old to process pain effortlessly.

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: I am what I am

I am what I am
That's why I am me
Sometimes I am you
Sometimes I am she

Today I am the one
Who sees things a certain way
Today I am dark as the night
Tomorrow I am the day

When I was with you
I was, who I believe I am
The way I am with another
Is also me I claim

It is not my intention to lie
I am simply more than one thing
I am what I experience
I am what I believe in

I live in the moment for I
Have not seen tomorrow
But in every moment I own
I am me down to my marrow

I don't mean to mislead
Nor am I schizophrenic
Its not a disease, its a quirk
Part systemic, part endemic

I am not one but all
Accept it, let it be
For I am what I am
That's why I am me

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: The Bard

I am no story-teller
I am at best a bard
I can serenade and croon
Sing a song, hum a tune
All in a leotard!

But I am no story-teller
I can tell no lie
Call it magnified imagination
Telling tales or recitation
They're talents for which I vie

I am no story-teller
I am at best a bard
My words are simply comprehensible
Clearly lucid and irreproachable
Not obdurate or hard

Story-telling is a journey
I prefer destinations
Get to the point, A to B
Winding roads aren't for me
To meander is an abomination

Give me a verse, give me a rhyme
A husband, a lover or a valentine
Throw me some pain and a hurt or two
I'll whip up a ballad just for you

I'll make your soul cringe and your heart cry
All it takes is a requiem or a lullaby
I'll sing you a refrain, like you've never heard
But I'm no story-teller, I am at best a bard

(c) VedicVerses

Poem: Ageless

Somehow
He and I
Take our time
To grow old;
Life is full
Love still new
And our time
Passes slow.

Years
Take our friends
To places
Unknown;
Homes are built
Children born
Experiences
Borne.

Sometimes
He and I
Stop
To reconsider;
Feel our skins
Touch our minds...
Are we ageless
Or greedier?

Some days
When I'm alone
And his mind
A stranger,
His steps
Seem to match mine
Deliberately
And slower.

Its true
I feel young
Still a child
Still growing.
And I hope
When he chose
He did so
Knowing

Since now
We are one
And together
Must be ageless;
Life will happen
It is written
While we remain
Timeless.

(c) VedicVerses

Poem: Companion

Remembering my darling Dennis today. We miss you honey, you were such a treasure!

Companion
-----------------

His eyes commit treason
With every glance he steals,
Betraying the warm secrets of his heart...

Eyebrows twitching, traveling eyes -
Taking in every detail, this spy satellite!
Without a single movement of his head.

Hair cropped short, like a distinguished army man.
Ears alert like a black commando with a gun!
Though lean he wears
His clothes to advantage:
Impressing a dangerous creature
Lurking the depths of his sinews.

But for his button-nose
He might've looked severe,
What a runny nose too!He's a constant sniveler!

In the cold corners of the night,
I snuggle up to my companion;
The four-legged creature
Aptly called man's best friend!

(c) VedicVerses

Poem: All said and done

Marriages for most people represent a maturing love. At least that's the hope. In a marriage after a period, emotions don't ebb and flow, but are existential - just part of being and living on a day-to-day basis. That is not to say those emotions aren't beautiful. But human communication hasn't evolved beyond words and actions. Communication isn't quite 3-D yet, is it? You can't share an experience of an emotion in an IMAX.

That's why I write so little these days - mature emotions, rational emotions are difficult to write about. And not half as exciting to read!

My rock
My unshakeable faith
Personified
My pulse
A measure of my spirit
Its human voice
My meter
A check for my conscience
Its reset button
My mirror
To check my balance
My confidence

Emotions are wonderful
Words are not
Articulate this effusion
And they fall short

Some truths sound commonplace
We can't escape that
My trust, your leap of faith
Take the form of this banal fact

All said and done
You. Are. The. One.

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: The green patch

Take a minute or 5
Step away, rest your eyes
Doctor's instructions

Itch to 'facebook' as I break
Add the 'green patch' to my page
No! must follow directions

Put my head back and contemplate
Of 'stuff' to add and to update
The 'green patch'

And my mind wanders to a walk at 5 a.m. ...

A walk at 5 a.m.
Feeling grouchy and lame;
Demanding and needy
Pets are over-rated!

Stumbling along
Him pulling, I tugging
Breaking the silence
With my shrieked commands

Chiding myself
Reminding myself
45 minutes said the dog whisperer!

With that fire hydrant to my temper
Shrugging and settling into routine
He ambles, I drag my feet
And we do the usual beat

Early is quiet
Cool despite the summer
Birds already about
River is still
Is that an otter?
Are there otters in New York?

Tongue lolling (he's too happy!)
He turns to look at me
I can't help but smile
At his stupid face and its stupid gaiety
(Who am I kidding! He's a handsome brute!)

We walk to the sand bar
The still water yipping gently at its edges
A half-finished bottle of Pepsi
Bobbing up and down on the waves
This is as close as it gets to nature
In the big city

He chases geese
I stand and look
In the far distance
Sun peeping over the shoulders of the Empire State
Brooklyn is waking
Lady Liberty preened from a previous night's rain
One end to the other of the panoramic view
Made just for me

He's ready to go -
The fresh bite mark on my wrist does not lie
Back to his ambling and
My dragging of feet
But refreshed and ready
I plant one more sweet memory in my green patch ...

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)