Sunday, March 27, 2005

Ironic is her inferiority!

At home and yet not at peace was how I found myself this weekend. Not one to question reasons for my singlehood, my family is nevertheless a part of a circle which contiuously does... subtly and not-so-subtly. A well-wishing Aunt asked to speak with me, and I was touched. I was home after four months, y'see, and extremely prone to sentimentality as a result. I expected the usual "how's your job? how is life?" type of questions, but instead was faced with a blatant breach of that unspoken understanding, that my life was not up for discussion. So she riled me about getting older and that it would be too late later on to marry and get on with life - meaning giving birth to hopefully a name-bearer, no doubt! Now I've known Aunty for years, and have a soft spot for her as I always seem to have for elders who show even the smallest concern for my well-being. So was trapped between extreme anger at being thus interrogated, and feeling remorse that I was indeed from a small town where the be all and end all of the existence of those that I cared about was essentially "a girl should marry and get "settled" in life".

The strangest thing though is this.. till date I had been spared of such direct questioning of my single woman status! And I honestly believed that I would always get away with it, because somehow I was different!

How many decades ago was it that the liberation of womenkind began? How many trends have come and gone, to be ultimately replaced by "Tulsis" on the silver-screen?

I mean there is normalcy y'know to my existence as well... I do regret not having found my soul-mate, or having found and lost them several times and swallowing the stark reality that love is not necessarily an eternal emotion... I clinch at the thought of growing up and growing out of my child-like fantasies of romance... There's enough of that pain in my life. And a dear Aunt came along to remind me of yet another pragmatic truth.... that I was getting old, and fast, without having achieved anything - neither career-wise nor on the personal front!

Oh well, its times like these that poetry comes to the rescue I guess :) Found an old notebook that I had penned down some verses in... Penned another in it, and decided to post 'em all together on today's post.



I began with good intent

We all begin with good intent,
And so the man was born!
My mind it sowed the seed of love
In a land more fertile than bone...

A man I sought - I thought, I felt
A man I screamed to need,
Groaning, I soaked all his love
Alongwith that his weed.

A barren man, my eyes perceive
Barren, barren is my soul.
Emptied of, that something - coarser than lust
Coarser and completely unwhole!

I began with good intent
I began well indeed
I had a man, licked off the scraps
And lost a friend to need.

Perplexed I waited
For the friend to rise again
A Phoenix from the ashes of damnation -
Here ends my tale, for I'm waiting still
A witness to my own condemnation.

The man, the friend
Long gone, hearty and well-faring:
Laughing, looking on as I became
A victim of my own ensnaring.

(c) VedicVerses

Dedicated to a friend without whom I would have never woken up to face the realities of life and love. Thank you!

The irony of her inferiority

The woman, she is a good mason.
Skillful masonry enshrouds her
Yet, she leaves a key-hole open
To help man's perspective cripple her.

The woman, she is a good hawker.
She knows her wares so well:
Yet the man beats her in salesmanship
For all her communication, she cannot sell!

The woman, she's a good diplomat
She learnt tact the hard way:
Yet the man's unscrupulous wit
Beats her in politics everyday.

The woman, she is a good artist
Sensual, sentimental et al:
But the man can sell better copy
At the cost of the woman's downfall!

The woman, she is divinity
All goodness and beauty within:
But reigns Supreme does the man,
For he has not her conscience for a sin!

(c) VedicVerses

Random pieces of my work


We all sit
In this crowded place
Each mind travels
To places afar.
My mind draws a blank
No creation here
Yet its quiet belies
Perplexity and chaos.

Where do you want
to be, free thought?
What do you think
your thoughts should be?
Wondering, wandering
Such painful emptiness
Yet revelling are thee?

Patience and adaptation
Long lost friends
Where do I find you?
Why must I find you?

Adolescent Heart

A squirrel in my heart
Scurries up and then down
Never a sign does it show
Of a smile nor a frown.

It goes about, collects love
Like acorns in summer,
Yet knows that love is like a bubbly
Unscrew and the fizz always dies by winter.

But this squirrel of a heart
In its scurrying, found a friend or two
The fizz was gone thats the honest truth
But come winter, she hoped love would burst anew.

(c) VedicVerses

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Sign of the times

A very beautiful piece of theory came my way recently - called "The Stockdale Paradox". Mr. Collins spoke of it in his book "Good to Great"... After a bout of my usual cribbing, a sympathetic friend sent me a link to a fellow blogger's page, which I will be so rude as to post the link to in mine...

Could not come up with an appropriately topical poem. Here's the best I could think to post. Hope you enjoy it...

Sign of the times

Earth's colors are far too many
Zest and energy, yet slow and calm.
Heart and soul here mingle as one really
Yours and mine is one and nothing - the psalm.

Call of the wild, of the untamed instinct
Dare devilry? No! a plain struggle to survive;
Zealous like the wind blowing strong in my face is
The power that keeps Man alive.

Yet, gone are the days of such oneness with the wild
Zanny clothes and discos replace original sin.
So lost in an artificial world
So far from ourselves
Xeroxes of every ideology thats "in"!

Zooming sportscars replace the agile horse
Movies replace vistas and views,
Aren't many the times when one feels the guilt? Yet,
A popular mix of sin and transgression we choose.

Undoing is far too tough to be done,
Doing is easy, things that need to be undone.
Praise those few originals, shall we? Having done -
Replace our own ethics by those we see!

Zebra patterns of black and white there are not
Pachydermous greys must loom large all around;
And yet,
Xeroxes of pretty young things, I spot!

(c) VedicVerses

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Les Femmes Fatales!

Often have I, blamed fate for being born in the wrong gender!!!!! I mean I haven't your usual girlish qualities at all you know... Not coy, foot-in-mouth most of the time... say the first thing that comes to mind - completely naive and tactless.. And then as I catch myself thinking and over-analyzing I go "Eureka! There it is! My womanly quality comes to life after all!!"

Its true... we're complicated - us womankind. Often we're the wet blanket too am sure... especially when our "better" halves dream up all these fantastic machismo ideas of fun!!! I know I do it.. and my sister and Ma are guilty of this particular "crime" quite often as well :)

But hey! in our defense, when even as thirty-somethings, when the guys want to snuggle with their little blankies and be molly-coddled, we're the ones who keep a straight face, and offer warm milk and coaxing words as needed, don't we???? So what're you complaining about??? LOL!!

The kind of women I've been around and loved having around - have always been very very special. At once, grounded and lofty, poignant and child-like... and perpetually sweet natured, spirited and never cruel... how could I then not revel in the gift that life has thus granted me? I cherish this gift... I LOVE BEING A WOMAN!

Me and Dog :) Posted by Hello

(c) VedicVerses