Monday, January 24, 2005

Don't dream its over...

Loved this song by "Sixpence None The Richer"... needed it today, thought I would share.....

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Don't dream its over

There is freedom within, there is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
There's a battle ahead, many battles are lost
But you'll never see the end of the road
While you're traveling with me
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win
Now I'm towing my car, there's a hole in the roof
My possessions are causing me suspicion but there's no proof
In the paper today tales of war and of waste
But you turn right over to the T.V. page
Now I'm walking again to the beat of a drum
And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart
Only shadows ahead barely clearing the roof
Get to know the feeling of liberation and relief
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
Don't ever let them win

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Love...

Years before I wouldn't have dreamt of doubting my ability to have crushes and falling in and out of love... The world then seemed to be filled with "Tom Cruises" waiting to be discovered :)

But there's something about being 26 and managing self-earned money, time, parents, friends and lovers that kills something of that naivete inside. Life right now seems to be full of uphill climbs trying to please people...Where's that little kid who kept asking everyone to go fly a kite and didn't care? Maybe she realised that she did care, but caring never seemed to be enough. Regardless of the receiver of that caring, it had to be unconditional, blindly loyal, constantly smiling despite circumstances and situations, devoid of self-hurt and retribution and much too much daunting than she had realized...

Well here's to the young lover of yester-years...

-
Once before...

A young lover sings a lover’s song
As quaint as mine was once before

Finally a lover, life made me
Not as young as I’d like to be
Nor as quaint as once before.

Years, they took the youth away
Years, they mocked me to grey
Something cold, blew the days
Over this heart I knew, once before.

My love sees just the good
Sees a child, that once stood
In my stead, long ago, once before.

My love sees not the hard stone
But hopeful eyes from once before.


© VedicVerses

Monday, January 17, 2005

What am I? The Frustration Sponge??

Funny thing about an "open" corporate environment is that the 360 degrees feedback loop brings with it a 360 degree level of exposure to people's personal frustrations! Doesn't help that you're the worst piece of frustrated corporate rat-racer yourself, but you've got to "understand" everyone else's frustration, cos the people who care about you think you can! Gosh! I never thought being an independant woman-of-the-world was going to be so crappy!!!!

Oh and of course my conditioning will be bent to impose upon me "fair" thoughts of "I have it better than so many others"!!!! Geez! Sometimes I just want to "earth" some thoughts right into the ground where they belong anyway!

So did I fail? I'm a supposed people person, a lover of all beings, unbiased and compassionate... and yet I failed! Didn't I? AAAAAAAAAah! This had better be a lesson in life I don't ever have to re-learn!

Well, here's an addition to my diminishing list of poems as yet unpublished on this blog....

Marriage

Like any pair
Married too young,
This awkward knot
Was tied and begun.

Questions poured,
What pleases, makes content
An unhappy love's heart
When every action was well meant?

What irked and
Brought on the ire?
To have them thus displeased
What was it that transpired?

These questions will burn
As they do for anyone,
Who married too young
Hoping to love someone.

They will disappoint
And the heart will wonder why
Of all the knots in the world
Just this one it did tie!

And yet inescapable
This journey is, it knows
As lesser of all evils
Is the one it chose.

Such is my marriage
In my awkward heart, a gulf.
Yet so curious it is
For I'm only married to myself!

© VedicVerses

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Arab Horse... c'est moi for the day!

Here I am, this is me... born wild and free! Feel like an Arab Thoroughbred that Ben Hur might ride to conquer Messala's betrayal! :)

One of those days, when I need to get messages across and am getting killed over trying to be politically correct. So why can we not just say what we want and accept that there maybe more than just the narrator's perspective to any story... Why are we so bound? Argh! Some friends will sound like a dear mother once did, when bringing you up! Well, it pays to listen to them I assure you, but it sucks big time to have to!

Oh well and the message was across... not so politically correct, not without a few ruffled feathers... and today, just for today, it doesn't feel so bad :). I know things won't stay that way, I know there's a price to pay, I know there'll be a few scars... but for today : Here I am, this is me! An Arab horse galloping till my heart will just burst! Riding the wind! With my mane flowing, and my eyes on fire! :) Reckless and wild.... just heading for a scar..

SCAR

Sometimes you wish upon a star,
And bring yourself to where you are -
Seek comfort in your own fenced in life
No more dreaming of paradise.

Yet some promises your old self still makes,
Within a day those it promptly breaks;
Yet couldn't have known before the time
When from responsibilities, you so unceremoniously decline.

Forgive me dear friend, this is who I am
I am a pearl comfortable in my clam.
A pearl like you, in a clam like yours
Just as afraid of any further scars.
Forgive me, this is what life is for
To hurt and be hurt, without a scar.

© VedicVerses

Monday, January 10, 2005

A companion in the New Year!

Power of the subconscious mind says... you are what you think! Interesting belief that! So here I am, thinking of myself in a phase in life where I want to be.. thinking hard, focusing on positives - one thing I like about positives for sure is that they're a lot more fun than the negatives... I know, I know... whatever! :) Well coming back to the moot point... is it possible that nothing is really not in our control? I guess these philosophies go bust when we apply them to "outcomes", as against to the internal effect it has on us that may bring us to ignore or grab not so obvious opportunities after a tremendous failure or setback... You know what movie comes to mind? "Life is beautiful" - Benigni is a genius!

And so we work hard... we know we want "companionship", but compromise at a certain age is quite difficult to do. And in our prude little countryside, companionship can only equal something as impractical as an "eternal relationship"!! Anyone watch Vaada? The very fact that a supposedly brilliant mind like Amisha Patel (gold medallist in economics I believe she is??) can even utter an incongruent line like "I hope I am married to you for the rest of my 7 lives" is not really about playing a part well, could it be? It seems like its just incongruencies like that in our society and the changes we face today in a "globalising" world... and no room or provisions made in our societal setup to fit these and assimilate these incongruencies and change it to a more harmonious whole - maybe that's the key.

K... I could go on blahing about this stuff.. but just wanted to talk about a dear friend of mine very quickly.. i got this bamboo shoot for my birthday from her, i'd wanted one for soooooooooooooo long!!!! We've had our highs and lows in life, but well we really love each other too... she asked me to call this bamboo shoot "rini" - indebted for whatever love I had to offer the helpless little green life ... and its true, such undemanding and easy-to-please companions are so hard to find! Well, so dear friend Rini is now an inseperable part of my life :) starting this new year!

Here's a poem for the day, aptly called "Companion" ;) -->

Companion
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His eyes commit treason
With every glance he steals,
Betraying the warm secrets of his heart...

Eyebrows twitching, traveling eyes -
Taking in every detail, this spy satellite!
Without a single movement of his head.

Hair cropped short, like a distinguished army man.
Ears alert like a black commando with a gun!
Though lean he wears
His clothes to advantage:
Impressing a dangerous creature
Lurking the depths of his sinews.

But for his button-nose
He might've looked severe,
What a runny nose too!He's a constant sniveler!

In the cold corners of the night,
I snuggle up to my companion;
The four-legged creature
Aptly called man's best friend!

© VedicVerses