Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Tsunamis, Marriage...

Natural Disaters... my next pet peeve after pythons under my bed! Silly me! I'd thought it couldn't get worse than bellowing winds of twisters and towering infernos.... Something as simple as moving a broad-rimmed tub of water wasn't something I'd counted on scaring this robust little world of ours... So we mourne for the loss of lives, the missing millions, and the wiped out tribes. We fear the continuity of our species when our progeny is the worse hit... One little world in this big bad universe... we're just one little world and just one insignificant species sharing and usurping the space of a zillion other life forms in this one little blue world...

...just one little world in a big bad universe... and guess what's a bigger problem on a preoccupied little insignificant mind like mine? Guilt! Guilt for not believing in the system of "arranged marriage" and yet going ahead with it just cause I haven't the guts to not want a "family".... When I think of it, how long will I live? For a finger snapping moment by universal standards... Just like a little insignificant little brown moth, who'll live the lifetime of 12 hours! Why do we waste our lives so? Why?

Not quite related to the topic of infernos and tsunamis... but here's a poem.. hope you enjoy this one too...


Why does famine strike a personal domain?
While cool rain spills on an evergreen plain?

Why do slight tremors cause
A mind to bend?
Though a thousand earthquakes
It could easily mend?

When rose-gardens flourish
Without a weed,
Will thorns prick undaunted
And a soul must bleed?

When reality has turned into
A fairy tale,
Nightmares come true
Like a wicked spell?

Just when the heart learns to leap
O'er trivial pain?
Does fate turn tables
Bringing abandonment again?

And why?
When cool rain may spill on every evergreen plain,
Must famine strike a personal domain?

© VedicVerses

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Blessed Sleep!!

Didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night... Feel like a zombie in my chair at work... smiling benign smiles at everyone... half awake... lying back, sinking lower and lower into my chair... Someone once said to me "give you a corner, any corner... and you'll get cozy"... Yeah feel like a well-fed lazy cat right now... people around me almost hear me purr! :)

Sleepless night? not quite... I have sleepless mornings, I'm in perpetual jetlag usually when something's on my mind! :) So what's on my mind... I could say work, personal life and rant on and on about that... but the bottom-line is, I spent all morning at being perplexed... Why when I've been in a situation more than once, I stumble into it all over again. Days like these I just feel such a mouse, with some vague sorcerer playing the cat's role and pawing at my poor life gleefully!!

C'est la vie I suppose! Here's one for the day:

The Tubelight in My Room

Prefer the luminous darkness of the skies -
Sparklers shedding light,
Like an overly made up lass.
Its artificiality is pleasing,
Not an eye-sore
Like the phony light of my room.

Switch it off? Like unpleasant thoughts?
Yes, at least for a while I could.
But just as I can't move on
Without dealing with a corn on
The little toe of my foot -
It must come back to haunt me
As dusk falls and night approaches.

The slender white fluorescence
Stirs devilish emotions, within me.
Fears and inhibitions pounce on me,
As it sheds itself, on my kingdom.

Powerless ruler of the 8 by 10 am I,
Struggling to hold on to the last shreds
Of sanity: but the phony light prevails
As the minutes tick by at snail's pace.

At last! the hour is up
And I must put up with it no more!
Saying my last words for the day, throwing kisses...
My fingers itch to do murder -
By the click of a button!
I hear a manic laugh
In the depths of my consciousness...

There! the deed is done!
I snuggle into place
In feverish anticipation
Of the heavenly sights I have long wished for,
In the stead of the crummy tube-light!

But the beastly thing has the last laugh,
While silently fading into extinction...
For no sooner do I lay my head on the pillow that
My eyelids drop like heavy anvils
And I fall deep into slumber!

(c) VedicVerses

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

A strange place, this world is...

Am thinking of all those times I've created little worlds out of the world I have around me... finding little niches and cracks to fit in and be snug in it... Everytime it evolves, my niches and cracks don't exactly expand... just change or close or are taken up by someone bigger and stronger... and then like a little defenseless molusc I have to find another home for my dreams and joys.

So you're thinking... what's so strange about that? doesn't everyone go through a cycle like that.. I haven't got the statistics on that :) ... But I frankly wonder how many do find happiness in this ever-changing kaleidoscope of niches and cracks... What is indeed strange about life to me is... no matter how many tears I've shed, or tantrums I've thrown at having to change my molusc-shell... after all that hysteria, I've always ended up finding one more gorgeous crack full of happiness and new learnings, which will seem to want to be there for an eternity. But now I know that its not here to stay, but hey! the prospect of the next gorgeous little homestead for my dreams has only just begun to get exciting!!

Here's a poem for the day called "Four Walls"... inspired a little bit by Lord Tennyson's "The Flower"....

Four Walls

Once sometime ago
Four walls got built,
Bang in the middle of a beautiful plain;
On the soft green earth
The walls stood strong,
With well-meant intentions of protecting from rain.

But a wall's a wall
not a roof on the head,
Which might've served better
Standing on four thin poles.
A roof without four walls,
Four walls without a roof...
Funny how the perversion ran unnoticed
Of the two switched roles!

The bellicose walls
Faced the belligerent clouds,
With broadened shoulders
And knitted brows;
But in no time drenched
And wet to the brick
The walls quivered
With their anger aroused.

And the green earth smiled...

And the green earth smiled,
While the clouds let out a roar
Only to make way
For a gentle sun.
Though tired with the effort
But in character adamant,
The victorious walls succeeded
In blocking out some picteresque fun!

(c) VedicVerses

Moi Posted by Hello

(c) VedicVerses

Monday, December 13, 2004

I, Me, Myself

Here I am... this is me... :)

A friend just pinged me, and in his very words pointed out some new roads to me .. am glad he did. I find this endless rambling awesome and a great relief in a way that makes me go in my head "finally! finally! i can be eccentric and actually get away with it".

Am not very exciting with prose... poetry is my forte. I call that lack of imagination, cos I can only write about myself and my experiences. Am not very selfless as you can tell. Over the years though I've started noticing things like technique and I have a roving eye for words that are like a song - melancholy ... enthralling ... drowning ... musical. I don't actually collect words... but they stick in my head, and I wait for a moment - the right moment - to use them. Take requiem for example... such a beautiful word... haven't found a context for a poem yet where I can put that in... This blog already has one poem that I made my friend the "path-finder" ;) to pick and place... here's another called Friend that some of my friends have really liked..


Need you somewhere
A shadow in the aisles
When I take my stage
With your dignity in my eyes.

Although maybe never again
To see or to hear,
Yet in every way will seem
So comfortably near.

Strength not in words
But in my actions see,
Be not so much a relative
As a dear friend to me.

Allow me to grow,
Let me take my blows,
Be my healer, Sweet,
And not a shield to those!

(c) VedicVerses

Towards What?

The storm it brews
A wicked one,
Grey matter above
Hides the sun...
Yet onwards I sail
Lost in thought,
Surging ahead
But towards what?

Ahead says she
Is who I am,
Ahead says he
The best ones swam;
Ahead I reach
Only to find
Grey matter and storm
I left behind...
Yet onwards I sail
Lost in thought,
Surging ahead
But towards what?

I take to oars
While the broom I seek,
Slicing the ocean floor,
Timid and meek.
With a broom
I'd sweep the sky,
Stare at the sun
Till it hurts my eye.
The hurtful sun
Is welcome but,
In this blinding dark
I would not strut.
Yet onwards I sail
Lost in thought,
Surging ahead
But towards what?

(c) VedicVerses