My Father's Daughter

What lies ahead I do not know
But the ages past crooked my brow
Beneath it peers my father's eye
Above it lies the wave of his hair
I am nothing like him and yet I am
His spirit personified

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Magic kingdom

I clean
She sings
Of mundane things

I cook
She talks
Of imagined walks

I listen
She chimes
And makes up rhymes

I scribble
She sketches
Destroys evil witches

I smile
She kisses
Away all my hits and misses

I'm blessed
She's here
Living her wonder years

This is no ordinary life
It's our magic kingdom

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Patient and lonely

My eldest
The soul of this Enterprise
Lies all alone in the darkness
Away from all she loves
She and I await
The judgement yet to be passed

I'm ashamed and ridden with guilt
That it took me so much time
To sense her pain
As her stoic little heart
Withstood the agony of neglect
Wordlessly, and smiling

The more I try to be that person
The less of a Mother am I
Women can truly have it all
Just never at the same time

And yet what I want outside of Motherhood
Has forever eluded me
The title, the wages
Nothing but child's play to most
Are a forever-out-of-reach carrot
To this donkey

I've no patience left
Patience is what brought me here
In the first place
Put my head down and work they said
Apparently that only applies to women
And immigrants
While the Trumps of this world
Shall leave a lasting legacy behind
Gloating over us lesser mortals
With hard-won degrees and
Award-worthy patience

Time with her is what makes me
Her love is what saves me
She is all alone in the darkness
How am I the lonely one?

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: Frozen in Time

Here I go again
Waiting for the Big Thaw
Watching a hive of activity
Beyond these walls of ice

Isn't a freeze
Meant to preserve?
Instead
Every passing moment
Adds a new line to this wizened face

Isn't a frost
Meant to be a balm against all feeling?
Instead 
It deepens the sting
Like an acupuncture-gone-wrong

Shouldn't the ice
Conceal my heart?
Instead
It reveals to the world
Its every flaw

Here I go again
Defrosting slowly
Painfully
As the universe softly burns
Beyond these walls of ice


(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: My Forever Best Friend

In my lonely life

You were my North Star 

When all hope wandered away 

I'd call 

And you answered

Well, mostly

You never had the right words 

Nor what I needed momentarily 

Yet you stood steadfast blinking 

But never looking away, 

Never shrinking 

I walked away many a times 

Frustrated, defeated, not knowing 

How to be someone 

That you might need 

Yet you never faded

Were never gone too long

You were not what I needed 

Nor I someone who could ever fit in 

Your world

But you were so much more

You were my only friend

You're not here now

And I'll cope

I'm like that

Disloyal, frivolous

Painfully sensitive

Ardently caring

But you win

You've forced 

Your charming way

Into being

My forever (and only!)

Best friend

#jessisnomore #lifeafterjess

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: The Old Bungalow

My mornings are spent

Defending critters from each other 

And themselves

The Redbird with its broken talon

The fat brown dove bullying its younger mate

The sparrows pecking at my marigold

Having words with the squirrel

I’m once again that little girl

Who roamed the grounds of that old bungalow

Playing out imaginary scenes

Rescuing critters who didn’t want to be rescued

When my life was this one long journey

I had yet to undertake

I hadn’t many friends I could call my own

Who wants to hang around Miss Goody Two Shoes?

And yet I had the best of childhoods

Thanks to that old bungalow

Children will invent games if you’ll let them

I tell the other mothers 

As my little girl acts out complete scenes

From movies she recently watched

When her friends would rather play with each other

She doesn’t mind

She goes it alone, for several hours 

She is nothing like me

And yet she is

We both learned or knew

How to be friends with solitude

Because we never are alone

When we have ourselves

And an old bungalow

Filled with critters

As a mother stands guard

To fill in the spaces

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: The Wait

Patience is a virtue.
So say the hapless victims
Of that wicked siren
Called Hope.

In what must an Atheist
Put her faith?
In Hope?
In all that is just and right?
That sounds too much like
Religion
For her taste.

How must a Romantic
Defend her faith?
With science and probability?
Cause and effect?
Or fact-based evidence?
Where's the fun in that?

Maybe the distraction of the debate
Between her twin souls
Is Patience after all!

Well,
At least it helps
Keep her company
As she waits.

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: The Woman Entrepreneur

The journey of a million miles
in pursuit of many lofty goals
began with but a simple dream

No tides no oceans no raging rivers
no! these meandering waters
fell in with the driver's theme

I am done disrupting
now I build an empire
from what's left of a pile of rubble

While you wonder if I could
handle the machinery of trade
here I am already starting trouble

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: A Birthday Song

My little angel
My Joan of Arc
My sweet Ariel
My Tony Stark

Of all their traits
You were made
Wit and beauty
Skill and staid
Sweetness, kindness
Beauty of heart
Bright and sassy
Too smart for art

You are the wind
Beneath our wings
Unbending, undefeated
And inspiring
But best of all
My little one
You are you
When all's said and done

A birthday full of gifts
Is par for the course
And my first is a promise
Of love of course
Whatever the outcome
Whatever the game
Whichever the battle
Or beast to tame
Your Dad & I will travel with you
Today and always

(C) VedicVerses

Poem: Seeking a Friend for the End

Lift me up 
Lighten my load
Tell me we'll make it 
To the end of this road

See the work I put in
To take it all in
Shield me from the judging
And the rest of the din

Take me in your arms
Wrap me in them tight
Make me smile with your silliness
Tell me stories in the night

This heart is so tortured
It needs your help to lighten up
People tell me don't be bitter
I'm not, I'm just fed up

This soul is so defeated
It needs some loving care
People tell me I'm depressed
I'm not, but I'm getting there

This smile is so wan
It needs a reason to exist
People say I'm closed to suggestion
I'm not, I'm just dealing with this

This spirit is all I have
A weak and fading light
People say I'm defeated
I'm not, I've got plenty of fight

I'm seeking a friend for the end
I'm seeking a kindred soul
I'm asking for an atom not a mountain
A tiny spot of sunshine to make me whole

Poem: (She Doesn't Know)

There's a cloud over my head

(She doesn't know)

Deathlier than any sword

(She doesn't know)

Silver lining or not

(She doesn't know)

Its louder than a raging storm

(She doesn't know)

I have no God to offer her

(She doesn't know)

My faith is in my love for her

(She doesn't know)

But some days I love me more

(She doesn't know)

Some days I cannot save her

(She doesn't know)

I break out in cold sweat

(She sleeps softly)

I whisper her name in the dark

(She's snoring now)

I rub the sleep from my eyes

(She's waking there)

I hold her close in my arms

(She gives me a kiss)

I lie awake long after

(She doesn't know)

Stoking the resentment I sometimes feel

(She doesn't know)

Then she chuckles in her sleep

(She doesn't know)

And I fall deep into my own guilt

(She doesn't know)

Was it my doing and its consequence?

(She doesn't know)

Or the queer workings of happenstance?

(She doesn't know)

In this way do I get my comeuppance?

(She doesn't know)

Planted seed, sowed this circumstance?

(She doesn't know)

All I can do is await the day

(She doesn't know)

Try to predict the outcome

(She doesn't know)

How will she judge me in some future there?

(She doesn't know)

Worse than I do in this present here?

(She doesn't know)

How do I tell you of this coming fate?

(You don't know)

Smiling you will embrace the day

(You don't know)

As they take you away to 'heal'

(You don't know)

Will I watch trust's demise in your eyes?

(You don't know)

Don't think less of me my little one

(I hope you know)

I'd take your place if I could

(I hope you know) 

Don't judge too harshly when time is come

(I hope you know)

Black though my deeds, my heart is good

(I hope you know)

© VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: Your Prejudice

Keep your prejudice

In a time capsule

Bury it deep

For progeny, you fool

Open your eyes

To the damage you do

To self, to us

Who must endure you

You complain

Of injustice done

In ancient times

When battles could be won

Who will survive

Humanity's downfall

When a mere atom

Can obliterate all?

An apocalypse stirs

Beneath shallow tinder pools

Hate is a spark

In the hands of fools

Keep your prejudice

In a time capsule

And if it is unearthed

We'll have survived you

#jesuischarlie

© VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: Instagram

I look at your Instagram
I reach out
My fingers find a cold screen
At the end of their journey
I want to know the back-story
I'd ask but
I'm too afraid to break the code
Is there one?
I've often wondered

Your pictures weave a beautiful story
More beautiful than my feeble attempts
Story-telling is such a magical gift
Poetry is merely gilded
Emotional barfing
I've been bulimic
For so long
I've forgotten
What its like to be full

I stumble upon words
My vocabulary is accidental
Its the reason I thought
I'd take up photography
And I've been hash-tagging my way
Along, since then,
On my Instagram

But my prison has a limited view
There are only so many pictures
I can take
Of that beautiful sky
And its lonely gulls
This place has just 2 seasons
Worth shooting

But your Instagram
Breathes and bounces
It has a life of its own
You make even a lonely
Telephone pole
Seem alluring

I've had a good run
My life has been full
Of its own little magic
But its dull now
My attempts at coloring it
Seem almost desperate
I wonder... if I had your skill...
I wonder if I could
Instagram my life around

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: My promise

I like it when its quiet
I’m allowed it
A few minutes everyday
Its quiet without
But there’s a din within
Being hard on myself is easy
Jumping up on a pedestal
Only a little more work
Accepting the simple plausible truth
Staring back at me from the mirror
Somehow, is a hike

Always, I waited
For them to leave
And my heart bled
Till it could bleed no more
Yet I was lucky
For they left in time
But not this time
He is sticking it out
How this will end
Is anybody’s guess
I wait and watch
As that weather-beaten organ
Continues to bleed dry

Do I dare hope?
Is that love in the shadows?
Waiting for me
Waiting for our chance
To arrive finally
Or does it get ready?
To buckle its shoes and run
It needn’t go far
It is already out of reach

Someday my sweet darling
You and I will be the queens
Of a quiet little villa on a beautiful hill
In a faraway sunny place
With white wide verandahs
Through which cool breeze dances
Under a hot sun
In the shade of some humble tree

And I will set you up to win
In every way
In life, in love
At work and at play
Yours will be my final victory
Snatched from the jaws of defeat
By my poor weather-beaten heart

This, I promise you

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: Two Lifes

I've lived my life in two parts:

The one that came before you

Lived as if I had forever

To unwrap, unpackage

Me, my only endeavor

It was a wicked time, of much derring-do

And then there was you

Making me work harder

Than I had ever done

Even before you were conceived

Little one

Making me want to live

For a higher purpose

The pursuit of me giving way

To a love so utterly selfless

This year of my new life I've lived

From one smile to the next

Measuring my worth

By every tear you shed

My life now full of

The comfort of soft little hands

The buzz from tinkling little laughs

The tickles from snorty little chuckles

The little growls when you're in that mood

The cuteness fix from you mimicking Harley

Stolen kisses while you dream your dreams

Life couldn't get better than this!

(C) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: Evenings are for regret

Evenings are for regret

Loathsome feelings emerge

From something vile bubbling beneath

The tired aching earth

Evenings are to forget

The million smiles given freely

Bazillion hugs taken 

From that selfish innocent

Evenings make me lament

Another day lost to little jobs

That pay nothing, not even satisfaction

At a job well done, for it's got to be done again

Mornings are my friends

I wake up to her laughter

It washes over me

Rids me of the filthy remnants

Of last evening's slovenly regret

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: Choice

Love what you have

Love who you are

Make a little room

In your soul

For the world around you

Cherish this time

It won't come back

The future can wait

That is it's purpose

Hate what you have

Be your own worst enemy

Lose what you have

In pursuit of a wild eyed dream

Chase the future

Ignore your present

For if tomorrow comes

You'll be your only friend

There's a choice to make

Poem: Babe

Loves to keep me on my toes
What she's thinking no one knows
Gives me smiles that make my heart melt
Her crying does to me stuff I've never felt
Holds my finger tight in her little hands
I try to teach her to turn, but she's ready to stand
Grabs my hair in her little fists
Hers is the sweetest face I've ever kissed
Boy! Has she got that pout down
When it comes to fake tears, she'll laugh every 'ol croc out of town

These sleepless nights, those painful weeks
Those achy days of changing messy leaks
Wish they were fewer? Yes of course I do!
But one more thing I'd say too..
My unpredictable babe, my treasure, my little gift
You're the only reason for life and everything in it

Poem: Forgotten

Lost my edge?
Lost my nerve?
Lost the will
Or just my verve?

Had a goal
Stayed the path
Then explain
This sorry start

Not a start
A fork in the road
Leading away
From my other half

Never been this forgotten
This faded away
This insignificant
Didn't think I'd see this day

The half that is new
Is hard-won too
But should it compel me
To let the other half go?

Questions there always are
And always will be
But I used to have answers
There was an oracle in me

Who am I?
Where do I go?
Once this sabbatical is done
What will I know?

O help! despair
There's no place for you
I may be forgotten
But I'm needed too

Give me strength
And sweet hope to spare
I'll know where I am
When I get there

(c) VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

Poem: My Sweet Valentine

Go where you will
Fly, fly away
I will borrow wings
To fly with you

Be who you will
Find, find yourself
I will be you for a day
To watch you grow

Feel what you will
Share, share your dreams
I will be a sponge
To live the world through your senses

Do your worst
Show, show the naysayers
I will be strong
To be your shield against their blows

Fall all you will
Glide, glide on a sweet breeze
I will be a giant pillow
To catch you

Be more than I'll ever be
Be less than I ever was
Live for you
Love for you
Sing your own songs
Walk your own path

You are what I dreamed I'd be one day
Mine is an endless selfish love
And it will never fail you
My little one

(C) VedicVerses