Saturday, January 24, 2015

Poem: (She Doesn't Know)

There's a cloud over my head
(She doesn't know)
Deathlier than any sword
(She doesn't know)
Silver lining or not
(She doesn't know)
Its louder than a raging storm
(She doesn't know)

I have no God to offer her
(She doesn't know)
My faith is in my love for her
(She doesn't know)
But some days I love me more
(She doesn't know)
Some days I cannot save her
(She doesn't know)

I break out in cold sweat
(She sleeps softly)
I whisper her name in the dark
(She's snoring now)
I rub the sleep from my eyes
(She's waking there)
I hold her close in my arms
(She gives me a kiss)

I lie awake long after
(She doesn't know)
Stoking the resentment I sometimes feel
(She doesn't know)
Then she chuckles in her sleep
(She doesn't know)
And I fall deep into my own guilt
(She doesn't know)

Was it my doing and its consequence?
(She doesn't know)
Or the queer workings of happenstance?
(She doesn't know)
In this way do I get my comeuppance?
(She doesn't know)
Planted seed, sowed this circumstance?
(She doesn't know)

All I can do is await the day
(She doesn't know)
Try to predict the outcome
(She doesn't know)
How will she judge me in some future there?
(She doesn't know)
Worse than I do in this present here?
(She doesn't know)

How do I tell you of this coming fate?
(You don't know)
Smiling you will embrace the day
(You don't know)
As they take you away to 'heal'
(You don't know)
Will I watch trust's demise in your eyes?
(You don't know)

Don't think less of me my little one
(I hope you know)
I'd take your place if I could
(I hope you know) 
Don't judge too harshly when time is come
(I hope you know)
Black though my deeds, my heart is good
(I hope you know)

© VedicVerses (Rucha Gokhale)

1 comment:

Leena Gokhale said...

What oft I felt, never so well expressed!
But you know and I know, you would take her place if you could!